As someone who works in healthcare, I’ve learned to see exclusively female doctors whenever I can. I’ve gotten significantly better results and interactions that way. I also find that female doctors between 30–50 also tend to be the most open, thoughtful, and communicative. Maybe that’s a bit unfair, but I feel like there’s a real generational aspect to this issue as well. I recognize this isn’t helpful in an ER setting, but it’s a good rule of thumb.
Also, after any incident like this, report it to the hospital. In my experience, this is taken fairly seriously because patient satisfaction and quality indicators impact not only reputation, but bottom line, and that’s the best way to move the needle in our current system. And, should that fail, you can find most doctors on Zocdoc and other similar sites where you can rate and review your interaction to spread the word about the type of treatment people can expect from them and hopefully force it to be addressed. We need to start holding physicians accountable for their behavior and bedside manner.